My privates are just fine, thank you!

There's a special place in hell for spammers. 


Recently, I've discovered that I can go to my master online account and see what spam is being filtered out. Wow, was that an eye-opener! On a typical day, I get more than 100 spam messages. The bulk of them are shut out because they come from dubious places, like eastern Europe and sketchy regions of Asia. Yes, they have your email addresses, too. Scary stuff.


But there's another chunk of spam in my box that falls into three main categories: Replica watches, online pharmaceuticals, and an assortment of ways to make ... how shall we say ... my private parts much bigger/better/more powerful than they currently are. Apparently, if I take their pills/potions/mixtures/procedures, I can be a much better lover/partner/pleasurer to her/him/myself in no time. I'll be able to get dates and the ladies will be knocking down my door. Not to mention the fact that oxycodone, vicodin and a myriad of other prescription-only drugs are mine for the asking. And should I need a good looking replica of a super-expensive watch for mere pennies, I'm covered there, too.


So much for Internet etiquette when you're faced with wham, bam, thank you ma'am in the heading. Viagra at half price? Rolex knock-offs a jeweler couldn't detect? My spam box runneth over ...